Empathy key to reversing curse of knowledge

We’ve all been in situations where we struggle with helping someone understand something. Usually we take a breath and utter (either aloud or to ourselves) “let me see how I can explain this.” This situation is an example of the curse of knowledge.
The reason it is the curse of knowledge is that we are all unique in what we know. Our collective experiences and learning over the years gives us a knowledge that is singularly our own.
This knowledge can be a curse when we need to help someone else understand what we already know. The other person does not have the same experiences, expertise or information we have. In fact, they have their own perspectives and understanding; their own sense of the world which shapes how they hear and understand what is told to them.
The curse of knowledge can be damaging in sales situations. Salespeople, if they are good at what they do, know their products and services inside and out. They would understand not only how things work, but they also understand the benefits of what they offer.
The client though is coming from a completely different context. Their knowledge comes from their own perspective, learning and context.
When the client doesn’t understand the value of a proposal, many salespeople often shift into telling more features and more benefits; it’s sort of like talking louder when someone who speaks a different language doesn’t understand you. The salesperson continues to impart their knowledge thinking that the more the client knows what I know the quicker and easier it will be for them to make a decision.
In this situation the salesperson’s knowledge is getting in the way of their understanding. Appreciate the curse of knowledge and use it to reframe how things are bought and sold. Recognize that all of one’s knowledge does not apply. What does apply is the knowledge that aligns with the client’s needs and emotional drivers.
The most successful people in sales focus on “who”; they do not focus on “what.” By this I mean they understand what the person needs and what emotions drive their decisions. This understanding of the person precedes any discussion of products or services.
This kind of understanding leads to empathy, and it’s empathy that opens the door to understanding the underlying emotions shaping someone’s perspective. If you understand the emotional drivers, then you can shape your knowledge in the best way possible for connecting and helping the client make decisions. Tools to help shape one’s knowledge can take many forms. In the instance where you ask yourself, “How can I explain this?” you can shape the explanation in the form of metaphors. The metaphors will illustrate similar situations where the same context and emotions existed.
Another tool is stories. Storytelling by its very nature establishes connections on an emotional level.
A friend of mine, Pam Campagna, recently wrote a blog entry about the business lessons that can be learned from the Boston Marathon (bluesageconsulting.com/5-ways-starts-applies-business/). It would have been simple to point out the lessons in a declarative format, such as practice, practice, practice, or never give up. What Pam did though was to tell her story as it relates to the marathon. Pam lives in Hopkinton just a short distance from the starting line of the marathon. Every year for over 10 years she plays host to a multitude of runners who prep at her house the morning of the race. She shared the stories of the runners, and from those stories drew out the lessons one can apply in business.
Pam has a curse of knowledge as it relates to the Boston Marathon. Her knowledge is built on 10 years of one-to-one stories from scores of runners. A brain dump of that knowledge could be a book onto itself. Pam though, through effective storytelling, shared her knowledge on an emotional level, and did it in a blog entry of less than 1,000 words.
If you are in sales and are any good, you know your products and services and what they can do. Don’t let that knowledge get in the way of connecting with your client and building a relationship with them.
Your client wants to know what you know about them, not what you know about yourself. Listen well and be empathetic.
Most of all your client wants to trust you and what you say. This trust comes about through strong relationships, not knowledge. Focus on who before what and your knowledge becomes a powerful tool, not a curse. •


Ken Cook is the co-founder of How to Who and co-author of “How to WHO: Selling Personified,” a book and program on building business through relationships.

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