First impressions make a difference when the goal is winning a new customer, moving up the career ladder, gaining acceptance to a group or, of course, attracting a new special friend.
That’s a lot to ask when some experts say first impressions lock in within the first three to seven seconds. A Princeton University researcher drops it to less than one second.
To make first impressions even more daunting, some claim first impressions are indelible, with no second chances.
That’s one view, a frightening one at that, but it’s not the only one (thank goodness). Here are some thoughts on how to avoid falling into the fatal first-impressions trap.
n Don’t believe nonsense. Yes, first impressions are important, whether it’s a prospective customer, a job interview, networking or making a presentation.
But running through every first impression success list is a clear, message: If you want to make the right impression, don’t be yourself. Put on an act, wear a mask and become someone you aren’t. It’s a disturbing message. That’s not all; it’s nonsense. And it’s why so many first impressions crash and burn – people trying to present themselves as something they’re not.
n First impressions aren’t about us. The fatal first-impression trap is in trying to be something we’re not, saying what we don’t believe, acting as if we’re someone else, exaggerating our experience, enhancing our skills, and talking too much.
Believe it or not, first impressions aren’t about us and they aren’t about trying to impress others. The task is avoiding getting others to think you’re someone you’re not. Such deception never works.
n Get them talking. If you let someone put you on the spot, then you feel a need to come up with answers you think (or hope) they’re looking for. The chances are you’ll lose that guessing game.
Instead, the task – which is utterly simple – is engaging those we want to influence by asking questions. The goal is to get them talking. When this happens, the results can be positive. The more they talk, the more positive is the impression they have of you.
n Most first impressions are electronic. They’re the flip side of face-to-face first impressions. And they’re just as important, right at the top when it comes to how you’re perceived, whether by email, social media, blogs, a Website or on the phone.
n Quick response. Even though you may expect to hear from others quickly, do you always do it yourself, other than texts? How often do you “follow up” when you haven’t heard from someone? As timely a response as possible; immediately is best, but certainly within 24 hours. It sends the message that you respect those who communicate with you.
n Send complete messages. “Tuesday will be fine.” What’s missing is the time and place. It’s all-too-common. You’ll make a good impression if you think your message through so it’s complete and doesn’t leave someone guessing what you meant.
n Slow down. Since so many messages are sent on the run to catch a plane, grab an Uber, get to a meeting, fix dinner, or take a shower, many such messages are sloppy, cryptic, confusing, and even unintelligible. Is this a person you want on your team?
n Think attitude. With the Internet, there’s no place to hide. Bad attitudes come through, whether sarcasm, sniping, being disrespectful, flip or expressing anger.
The best way to make the right impression – to show who you really are – is by focusing on those you want to influence. •
John Graham of GrahamComm is a marketing and sales strategist-consultant and business writer.
