A retired man, sitting in a recliner, says to his wife, who stands in the kitchen doorway, “Since we no longer have a newspaper to fetch, I taught him how to check the newsfeeds for me,” about the family dog typing at a laptop computer. more

An employee, looking at an empty desk piled high with work, looks sad and stunned when his boss tells him, “it’s a lateral move, you’ll now be getting all of Kramer’s work too.” more

A manager, with his arm around an emplyee’s shoulder, says “Never get your story too straight: they might hold you to it.” more

An employee looks stunned when his boss, holding a sign that reads “THE END IS NEAR”, says “Smythe, let’s talk about your future here.” more

As a business owner shakes the hand of his second-in-command, he says, “Now that you’ve risen to second-in-command of my company, Osward, remember just one thing. To me you’re still just a flunky.” more

A manager, speaking to an older employee who has a box on his desk, says “After watching the clock for 25 years, it’s only right we send you off to retirement with a watch.” more

A job applicant looks stunned when the human resources manager tells him, “You say here you’re eager to ‘push the envelope.’ Great! We’ll place you in the mail room.” more

A businessman looks stunned, when listening to a voice mail message, he’s told to “Please leave a message after the beep and this short advertisement --- “ more

An employee looks surprised when his boss tells him that, “as my personal aide, your main focus will be to just stay the hell out of my sight.” more

At an outdoor meeting, where staff are seated at a table just outside of forrestry, a CEO says, “Good news, ladies and gentlemen. We’re out of the woods.” more