As two businessmen walk through a busy office, one says to the other, "Everybody I'v ever brown-nosed has been fired." more

An executive explains the upside of taking an entry-level position while standing on the new hire's chest. more

A job applicant looks stunned when the human resources manager tells him, “You say here you’re eager to ‘push the envelope.’ Great! We’ll place you in the mail room.” more

A businessman looks surprised when he’s told, In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won’t be paying you any salary,” by his boss, who sits in a lavish office smoking a cigar. more

A man, being examined by his doctor, looks surprised when his doctor says “You’ve developed ‘Prairie Dog Syndrome.’ You need to stop poppig your head up over your cubicle for a few days.” more

An investor, with his feet on his desk while talking on the phone, says, “Eddie, take everything out of fear and put it into greed.” more

A personnel manager tells a job applicant that “We have a wonderful health plan here … we don’t allow smoking.” more

An employee looks surprised when his boss tells him that, “as my personal aide, your main focus will be to just stay the hell out of my sight.” more

A politician looks angry when another politican tells him that “Grassroots issues are fine but yours are based on crabgrass.” more

A manager, speaking to an older employee who has a box on his desk, says “After watching the clock for 25 years, it’s only right we send you off to retirement with a watch.” more