A father tells his son, during dinner, that "You can count on two things in this life: tax code revisions and software updates."
A man, sitting on the witness stand in a court room, looks surprised when the judge tells him, "If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker," while also pointing to his gavel.
An older man, sitting down while painting a fence is speaking on the phone and his wife is raking leaves. "What am I doing?" says the man, "Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off ... then I remember I'm retired."
A CEO, leading a board meetin, gestures toward a map of the U.S. with three red dots. He proceeds to state that, "On the plus side ... we are saving on pins."
A financial adviser, speaking with a client over the phone, says "Nanthan, Looks like your nanotechnology stock paid a nano dividend."
A father looks disappointed when his daughter, who is reading the financial section of the newspaper, says, "I learned about the birds and the bees in school. Now tell me about the bulls and bears."
An employee looks stunned when his boss says, "maybe you're aiming too high," when the boss spots him reading "Success For Dummies."