On Saturday, September 18th at 10:00AM, WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES®, an international men’s march to end sexual assault, rape and gender violence will step off from Beneficent Church at 300 Weybosset Street, including men from all walks of life who will walk one mile in women’s high heeled shoes through Providence. Proceeds from sponsored walkers in the event will support the RI Crisis Assistance Center, a local non-profit agency that works with survivors of sexual assault, rape and domestic violence and the Men’s Initiative at the Women’s Center of Rhode Island.
WHO: Male community members and leaders will proclaim their solidarity with the rape and domestic violence prevention movement by marching in high heels, with women and children marching at their sides. Slated to speak are SGT William Merandi of the Providence Police Department Special Victims Unit, James Lawrence from the Women’s Center of Rhode Island, and local survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence.
WHEN: The march is scheduled to begin at 10:00AM with registration beginning at 9:00AM at Beneficent Church in the Round Top Building at 300 Weybosset Street in Providence. Men, women and children are invited to participate and walk-on registrants are welcome. Men are encouraged to walk in women’s high heels (there will be women’s heels in men’s sizes 9-17 for rental at the event). Awards will be presented for the largest team marching, most creative outfit, most money raised and craziest high heels.
WHY: “One in four women will experience gender violence in her lifetime. Do you know four women? Then someone you know, someone you care about – your sister, your co-worker, your daughter – will be a victim of violence, and men need to show their support and help end this epidemic” said Nancy Rafi, Executive Director of the RI Crisis Assistance Center. “This violence does not just affect women. Men are hurt and angered when women they care about are raped or abused. And the same violence that targets women also targets men because rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power, control and violence. Men are walking to show their support for the women in our community – to show our solidarity and commit ourselves to work together with women to end gender violence,” said James Lawrence of the Women’s Center of RI and keynote speaker at the march.
Inspired by the old saying “You can’t understand a person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes,” men will literally walk one mile in women’s high-heeled shoes to show their support to end violence against women. And while the event promises to be a lot of fun, it’s also an opportunity for men to show support for the women in their lives, and help make Rhode Island the safest place on earth for women & girls. For more information about the walk or to download a registration form to participate, please log on to www.walkamileri.com.
My name is Keith Smith. I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn’t a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet, bucolic, suburban neighborhoods of Lincoln, Rhode Island.
I was able to identify the guy and the car he was driving. Although he was arrested that night and indicted a few months later, he never went to trial. His trial never took place because he was brutally beaten to death in Providence before his court date. 34 years later, no one has ever been charged with the crime.
In the time between the night of my assault and the night he was murdered, I lived in fear. I was afraid he was still around town. Afraid he was looking for me. Afraid he would track me down and kill me. The fear didn’t go away when he was murdered. Although he was no longer a threat, the simple life and innocence of a 14-year-old boy was gone forever. Carefree childhood thoughts replaced with the unrelenting realization that my world wasn’t a safe place. My peace shattered by a horrific criminal act of sexual violence.
Over the past 34 years, I’ve been haunted by horrible, recurring memories of what he did to me. He visits me in my sleep. There have been dreams–nightmares actually–dozens of them, sweat inducing, yelling-in-my-sleep nightmares filled with images and emotions as real as they were when it actually happened. It doesn’t get easier over time. Long dead, he still visits me, silently sneaking up from out of nowhere when I least expect it. From the grave, he sits by my side on the couch every time the evening news reports a child abduction or sex crime. I don’t watch America’s Most Wanted or Law and Order SVU, because the stories are a catalyst, triggering long suppressed emotions, feelings, memories, fear and horror. Real life horror stories rip painful suppressed memories out from where they hide, from that recessed place in my brain that stores dark, dangerous, horrible memories. It happened when William Bonin confessed to abducting, raping and murdering 14 boys in California; when Jesse Timmendequas raped and murdered Megan Kanka in New Jersey; when Ben Ownby, missing for four days, and Shawn Hornbeck, missing for four years, were recovered in Missouri.
Despite what happened that night and the constant reminders that continue to haunt me years later, I wouldn’t change what happened. The animal that attacked me was a serial predator, a violent pedophile trolling my neighborhood in Lincoln, Rhode Island looking for young boys. He beat me, raped me, and I stayed alive. I lived to see him arrested, indicted and murdered. It might not have turned out this way if he had grabbed one of my friends or another kid from my neighborhood. Perhaps he’d still be alive. Perhaps there would be dozens of more victims and perhaps he would have progressed to the point of silencing his victims by murdering them.
Out of fear, shame and guilt, I’ve been silent for over three decades, sharing with very few people the story of what happened to me. No more. The silence has to end. The fear, the shame, the guilt have to go. It’s time to stop keeping this secret from the people closest to me, people I care about, people I love, my long-time friends and my family. It’s time to speak out to raise public awareness of male sexual assault, to let other victims know that they’re not alone and to help victims of rape and violent crime understand that the emotion, fear and memories that may still haunt them are not uncommon to those of us who have shared a similar experience. For those who suffer in silence, I hope my story brings some comfort, strength, peace and hope.
Men in My Town is the story of my abduction, beating and rape and the unsolved brutal murder of the man who attacked me.
Men in My Town by Keith Smith, available now at Amazon.com
For additional information visit www.meninmytown.wordpress.com or http://www.linkedin.com/in/meninmytown