Nothing too serious this week, just a couple of quick points – and then some fun.
I can’t fill a column with anecdotes about a rejuvenated economy.
Besides, it would look pretty silly when you read on page 29 of this issue a report that has economists predicting a painfully slow economic recovery in the face of weakening consumer confidence.
But I can tell you this. I’ve visited a local car dealership on several occasions in recent weeks. It’s been busy. Real busy. Not just people kicking tires, but buying brand new cars. They’re taking advantage of low interest rates and attractive dealer rebates.
I am told that most dealerships have had a rough go of it in 2003. It was a brutal winter, including a snowstorm on their big “Washington’s Birthday” weekend.
But people seem to be coming back. And that’s at least one sign that the economy could be warming.
Sound advice from Elvis
Did you happen to see Diane Sawyer’s interview of the Dixie Chicks?
If you recall, the country music stars caused a stir a few weeks back when their lead singer criticized President Bush, going as far as to say she was embarrassed to be from the same state that he is.
About all I can say is that it’s really too bad these country music stars – and so many other musicians, athletes and Hollywood actors didn’t learn a lesson from the legendary Elvis Presley.
Elvis was once asked by a reporter what he thought about the Vietnam War.
His response was brief, but it said so much. He looked at the reporter in bewilderment.
“Ma’am, I’m just an entertainer.”
There’s no excuse for being late – or is there?
It’s never a good idea to be late for work. Not only does it inevitably lead to a bad day, one in which you never seem to catch up, it also delivers to your boss the message that you’re allowing other things to come between you and your job.
And if you happen to be the boss, it doesn’t set a very good example for your subordinates.
Of course, there are times when those “other things” are simply unavoidable.
Often, children are to blame.
For example, a sick child can certainly slow a morning’s progress – particularly when that sickness involves he or she losing their breakfast while giving mommy or daddy a hug goodbye.
A healthy child can be equally problematic. Like the one who says in the school parking lot: “I think I left my permission slip for our field trip at home.”
And then there’s the stubborn child, the one who decides to test your resolve by refusing to wear a jacket now that the temperature has soared up to 38 degrees.
Cars and traffic are also at the root of many an employee’s tardiness.
A dead battery will do the trick, especially if it happens to be in the car parked last in the driveway. And commuters making the trek from points south to Providence always run the risk of a rollover on the Thurbers Avenue curve. That, on average, will put them at their desks just minutes before noon.
Accountemps, the California-based temporary staffing company, recently released a survey in which executives from among the country’s largest employers revealed the most imaginative explanations they’ve heard from tardy employees.
The executives responded to the question: “What are some of the more creative excuses you’ve heard for why employees are late for work and meetings?”
Children and traffic were indeed among the most popular excuses. But there were others – some of them quite humorous.
The family dog, for example, is often the culprit.
• “The dog was asleep behind the car and I couldn’t back out of the driveway.”
• “My dog swallowed my car keys.”
• “My dog didn’t come back after I let him out.”
Coffee – or the determination to get a cup of it before work – also seems to delay employees from getting to work on time, according to the Accountemps survey.
• “The line at Starbucks was out the door.”
• “The waitress at the drive-through latte stand spilled coffee on me.”
The Accountemps survey, suggests however, that the people with the following excuses must have skipped coffee on the morning in question.
• “I forgot what day it was. I thought it was the weekend.”
• “I couldn’t remember which time zone I was in.”
• “My wife and son took both cars and when I went outside there was nothing in the driveway.”
Some excuses don’t fit a particular category, but they’re classics nonetheless.
• “A helicopter landed in the street and I couldn’t get around it.”
• “My garage door was frozen shut.”
• “The elevators in this building are too slow.”
• “I tried a new way into work and it took me two hours.”
My personal favorite follows. I can only hope it was preceded by a handshake.
• “My car keys fell in the toilet.”
