We just spent about a week at Walt Disney World. And if I can’t get a column out of that, then I’m no columnist.
So here goes.
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They estimate that about 50,000 people visit the Magic Kingdom every day. But I question those estimates.
In fact, I actually counted on the afternoon of July 4 and there were closer to 3 million. Now maybe in the confusion and heat (it was about 210 degrees by 3 p.m.) and with all of those costumes and covered baby strollers I may have double-counted a couple of people, but I came up with 2,984,783. The vast majority of them seemed genuinely happy – sweaty and tired, but happy.
All in all, my family had a wonderful trip.
I’ll say this about Disney, they know customer service.
We checked our bags at T.F. Green, attached some sort of Mickey Mouse sticker to them and the next time we saw them, they were sitting in our hotel room – having arrived about the same time we did. That got us off to a good start.
We stayed at a resort within the parks (the Polynesian), and the monorail service back and forth was incredibly convenient.
The long lines my wife and I were worried about never really materialized (in part because Terri mastered the “Fast Pass” system). Two of my children rode “Space Mountain,” which I last rode 30 years ago. And we all had a pleasant and refreshingly cool ride on “It’s a Small World.”
Now, that being said, I do have some suggestions and thoughts to share with you, should you and your family embark on such an adventure anytime soon.
*Those family portraits the people in the colorful shirts keep snapping of you are not free. In fact, as a general rule, remember that nothing in Disney World is free. Most things cost at least $26.95, like cones of ice cream.
*Don’t forget Grandpa! Perhaps the funniest moment of our trip (granted, in a dark humor sort of way) came late one night aboard the monorail as we headed back to our hotel. A group of at least a half dozen people crowded in around us and seconds after the doors closed and the monorail took off, an older woman said: ‘Where’s Robert? Oh no. Don’t tell me!’ That precipitated a series of ‘I thought he was with you’ comments, followed by a quick cell phone call.
Predictably, Robert – the grandfather of the family, we came to realize – didn’t answer. The rest of the family seemed reasonably certain that he would find his way back to the hotel.
*If you have daughters like I do, be careful about the kinds of treats you spring for. For example, you know those simple-looking, beaded braid-type things girls like to put in their hair? Big mouth here says: ‘Hey girls, want to get that done?’ My wife couldn’t repress a knowing smile.
I soon learned that the extensions would run us about $3 per inch! Now, that’s not so bad for my Carlene, who has fairly short curly hair, but for long-haired Amanda, it cost roughly the same as two nights at the Polynesian!
*One good thing about the expense that is Disney is that when you do get back home you can order a couple of sodas and popcorn and you shouldn’t need to make that quick call to check the balance of your home equity loan.
*Don’t check messages back home! This is a big one. If you do, you might have one from your doctor telling you that your cholesterol came back higher than he would like and that he would be mailing you a prescription for Lipitor. This can be an especially disheartening occurrence if while listening to the message you are staring at a big, greasy cheeseburger and a side order of french fries.
*Do not be surprised if after months of careful planning your kids’ favorite ‘ride’ turns out to be the pool at your hotel. My son Jimmy kept asking throughout our trips to the various theme parks about when we would be returning to the hotel and if we were going in the pool.
*And finally, don’t panic if you arrive at “Splash Mountain” and the wait is more than an hour – even if it is nearly 100 degrees out. That’s what happened to me. But it was just myself and my daughter Amanda, who is 11. We like to ride flumes together. So the hour-long wait ended up being a chance for us to just talk. We didn’t talk about anything in particular. We just talked.
And by the time our turn came up, I realized that another hour waiting in line wouldn’t have been such a bad thing.
