One of my favorite old comedians, the late Rodney Dangerfield, was famous for his line, “I get no respect.” Then he would usually add something like, “I remember when I was a kid and played hide-and-seek. The other kids wouldn’t even look for me.”
If you want those who work with you to respect you more, try this simple tactic. Ask their opinions, and really listen to what they have to say. When done well, this is a powerful workplace practice that produces tremendously positive outcomes. Then, take action from what you learn. Employees will feel validated, and you will become someone people will flock to.
Example: Jack, a manager, is talking to Judy, who works for him. He asks her what she thinks of a new company policy. Judy answers with a thoughtful opinion. But as she is telling Jack what she thinks, Jack sees his boss walk by. Jack wants to ask his boss something important, and his mind focuses on that instead of on what Judy is saying.
Judy sees that Jack is no longer making eye contact or listening to her – even though he solicited her opinion. She stops mid-sentence. Jack is so lost in thinking about his question to his boss that he doesn’t even notice that Judy has stopped talking for a few seconds.
Embarrassed that he has been caught being inattentive, Jack tries to cover up the fact that he wasn’t listening. Judy politely skims over the incident and says she needs to get back to work. Later, Jack overhears Judy telling a co-worker about the incident. “What a jerk,” she said. “He asked me for my opinion like he cared. And I was dumb enough to think he did.”
Jack flinches at her words. He knew he appeared not to care, even though he wanted to hear her ideas. He realizes that he had damaged his relationship with an employee. He knows that he had to make an effort to be a better listener in the future, and vows to repair the damage over time. He also knows that he had learned one of the most valuable lessons a manager can learn: Listening to what his employees have to say is a priority and should be treated as one.
Half of all American employees think they’re not treated with respect by their employers or managers, according to discoverysurveys.com. When this happens, employees tend to lose respect for their bosses and don’t trust them. They also become resentful, less motivated and no longer committed to their employers.
Employee suggestions should be acted upon, rather than just ignored or ridiculed. Simply asking for input will gain some employee respect, but acting upon good suggestions is an imperative. Employees must also be given credit for the idea.
Allowing for scheduling flexibility gives employees the idea that their employers respect them enough to let them get their work done according to their own schedule. Letting them come in late or leave early on occasion is a strong way of showing respect and trust.
Making employees aware of the financial condition of the company and the reasons for various decisions also lets them know the company trusts them. If cost-cutting is necessary, solicit ideas from them.
As you work to reach your goals, remember that others also have goals and are also working hard. Respect people for what they are and for what they stand for – even if you don’t agree. •
