Whether it’s a personality clash or a misunderstanding, if your work environment includes more than one person, there is bound to be a conflict sooner or later.
What follows are some real-life workplace behavior issues (with the companies and workers’ names omitted), along with some suggestions from Theresa Watson, special programs coordinator at the University of Rhode Island. Watson offers mediation classes to members of the business and education communities through URI’s Feinstein College of Education.
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I was accused, by a co-worker, of tampering with company e-mail, even though
I lacked the skills (and a reason) to do so. Because the e-mails in question were
personal in nature and not memos relating to business, our employer never formally
pursued the complaint. Still, I felt personally defamed and didn’t speak to two
of my co-workers for almost a year.
I think this brings up a good point about changing technology. The code of
office behavior needs to reflect these changes. Probably, the employer didn’t
pursue it because the e-mail was of a personal nature. Sometimes, with problems
like this, if you leave them alone they go away – if you tamper with it, it makes
it worse. A lot of times, employers won’t address interpersonal conflicts unless
it has an impact in the workplace.
Several of the people I work with suspected that one of our co-workers had a drinking problem. When she showed up drunk at our company’s holiday party (where no alcohol was served), we didn’t know how to react.
I don’t think it’s appropriate for co-workers to approach it at all. I think it is appropriate to discuss concerns with an employer. Let the employer handle it. There are all sorts of programs available to people with addiction problems, and many companies have a specific person or program you can go to.
One of my co-workers in a three-person office setting was untiringly rude to me and made it a habit to quibble with me over trivial issues. She even tried to take over some of my job duties. I was definitely the target of this poor behavior – I never saw her act that way with anyone else.
When I discussed the issue with our supervisor, it was made clear to me that
because my co-worker had seniority with the company, if someone were to be transferred
to a different location, it would be me, not her. I was unwilling to pursue that,
as I was already established with our clientele.
Usually, this kind of behavior is the result of the senior employee being threatened
by the other person. It could just be a different skill set – one might be interpersonally
better than the other. If it’s a hostile rebuff every time you get it, it’s insecurity.
This is a perfect example of a case for mediation. Sometimes, the senior person
isn’t even aware that they’re doing it. A mediator can listen to what’s not being
said, and sometimes that’s the most valuable part of all.
To a former co-worker of mine, everything was an opportunity for a sexual reference
or comment. While the remarks were never directed at me, they still made me uncomfortable.
It was hard to know how to approach the situation, because technically he was
my supervisor.
You have to be clear that it makes you uncomfortable. “I” messages work well:
“I feel really uncomfortable when you make sexual remarks, and if you do it when
I’m here, I’ll leave.” It doesn’t have to be directed at you to make you uncomfortable.
And, an employer can get fined or sued if they know about it and continue to let
it go on.
The company I worked for was scaling back, trying to cut costs. The way they
went about it, though, was awful. For example, they decided not to pay employees
for their breaks anymore but didn’t tell them that. As a manager, I was instructed
to go back and delete hours from employees’ time cards without even telling the
employees what I was doing.
When working conditions change but you don’t tell employees, it’s like they’re
working under false pretenses. To me, it was a huge issue of communication and
respect.
I’m not sure under the law you can even do that. I would check into the state labor laws, or federal ones. It’s an unfair practice that really affects employee morale.
Knowing your rights as a worker is important, and it really makes a difference in that kind of situation. Sometimes, hiring a lawyer or consulting a watchdog group is the only way. On the other hand, if you show your employees that they are vital to the organization – and not just vital, but valuable – then you’re going to get it back tenfold. The right employer can change a person’s life, and that can make a big difference for a company.
