Have you ever suffered through tales of greatness from a self-absorbed “friend” who reminds you of Michael Scott from “The Office” – and not in a good way? Have you been betrayed by a colleague out of the blue, undermined on a project, or had a work friendship dropped without explanation?
If so, you may have been dealing with someone who has what psychologists term a “dark personality.” These people score higher on three socially undesirable traits: narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism.
In recent work, my colleagues and I focused on the ways people with these dark personalities succeed in sales organizations and the social factors that allow them to extend their successful tenures.
Narcissists have the most familiar type of dark personality. They aren’t shy about letting you know exactly how highly they think of themselves. Conservative estimates of narcissism in the population fall around 6.2%.
While narcissistic behavior can be annoying, it’s usually more tolerable than the other dark traits.
Functional – meaning noncriminal – psychopaths are particularly disturbing. Psychologists estimate they comprise up to 4% of the population. Psychopaths have no qualms about exploiting others for their own benefit. They generally have little empathy for others and are prone to telling lies for no particular reason.
In the workplace, a psychopath may seem charming at first. But eventually, you’ll likely find yourself either questioning their motivations or becoming a victim of their behavior.
Machiavellians are the most prevalent of the dark personalities, estimated to be about 16% of the population. Machiavellians are more subtle in the pursuit of their agendas. They forge ahead regardless of ethical considerations. And they’re adept at playing the long game.
Compared with a psychopath’s unnecessary lies, you’re more likely to overhear the Machiavellian in the group telling little white lies that are strategically designed to further a future agenda.
Here are five tips for avoiding dark personalities or minimizing their harm.
Don’t fall for first impressions. Dark personalities are experts at making great first impressions, drawing you in with humor and charisma. So, when you meet someone new, be wary of superficial appeal.
Ask questions about past relationships and listen carefully for clues about who this person really is. They’re less likely to have long-standing friendships.
Just be mindful not to overcorrect and ditch a potential new work friend based only on first impressions, either.
Share your own (bad) experiences. When you encounter a dark personality and the outcome is unpleasant, you might feel embarrassed for allowing yourself to be fooled. As a result, you might not want to talk about it. Dark personalities exploit that reluctance.
So to help unmask the dark personality and keep others from meeting the same fate, sharing your experience, with discretion, is critical.
Manage up to clue bosses in. Those with dark personalities are good at carefully managing the impressions they make on people in positions of power. So, at work, you can practice managing up to help your boss see the dark personality more clearly.
Share your experiences in a nongossipy way. It may help your boss see through the facade and help you deal with the issue.
Plug into your networks. Remember to also listen to others. To avoid falling into a manipulator’s web, tap into the network of those around you who share a link to the person in question. See if you can gather references regarding their behavior over the long term. Ideally, you can benefit from others’ knowledge, without having to learn the hard way.
Be aware of your own biases. Dark personalities are experts in manipulating situations to serve their interests, and you may never notice you’re ensnared until it’s too late. Considering yourself too smart or savvy to ever find yourself in the same predicament is misguided.
Cinthia Beccacece Satornino is the research director at the University of New Hampshire Sales Center and an assistant professor of marketing. Distributed by The Associated Press.
